by Trevor Parsons (Guest Blog)
Hi, my name is Trevor, I live in Verwood, in Dorset.
Nature and photography play an important part in my life. I’ve had two mental breakdowns. I had one when I lived in London, where I used to live in the 90s. It was bought on by me doing too much. I was working full time at Tesco, volunteering with Scouts 2-3 times a week and then I decided to do an FA coaching course. I didn’t realise how much was involved in doing it – I was juggling too many things in the air, and I ended up uncontrollably crying one day. My parents took me to my doctors, and I was diagnosed with having a mental breakdown.
I was prescribed antidepressants and was off I think, for a couple of months. I eventually got better and returned to work. My second one happened when I was down here in Dorset in 2013/14 – it was due to pressure from work. I was constantly worrying, I wasn’t sleeping well or eating properly. Eventually your body can’t take any more of that. Someone asked me a question at work one day, and I broke down crying – my partner had to pick me up from work.
I was off work for ten months. I went further into deep depression, anxiety and paranoia. I was under the Wimborne mental health team, having talking therapy, but unfortunately it wasn’t making any sense to me. I kept taking antidepressants and kept getting worse, until one day, when everything changed. I had the Wimborne mental health team and a paramedic fast response car come to my home.
© Trevor Parsons
I wasn’t violent, but I didn’t have a clue what was happening to me. The only way I could think of getting out of my darkness was going into St Ann’s psychiatric hospital. I begged the team to take me there. I wasn’t sectioned, but I didn’t care if I was. Eventually, they agreed to take me to St Ann’s hospital – the staff were absolutely fantastic.
I was discharged from St Ann’s after a period of time – unfortunately I still wasn’t right and had to go back in again. When I discharged the second time, unfortunately, I became agoraphobic. My parents just about got me to my doctors. She knew of my love of nature and photography, and she told me to set my timer on my iPhone, go into Bournemouth gardens – I was living back with my partner then – take some photos and when my timer went off to go home and write in a diary of what I saw and how I felt. Doing this is helpful as you can look back at your diary to see that your mood is improving.
What helped me so much one day was standing under a Robin singing it’s heart out in the gardens. Somehow that little bird switched the light back on inside me – slowly I started to recover. When you’re going through a breakdown and have all these dark thoughts rushing around in your head; what I found was when I was taking a photo I was concentrating on that one moment in time – that helped fade the dark thoughts in my head.
© Trevor Parsons
I eventually went back to work; I decided to tell my Nature Heals story in 2019 to try and help others going through mental illness. Now it’s sent me on a journey where I’ve received a letter from His Majesty The King, been live on Sky News a couple of times and have given my Nature Heals talk in the Attenborough studio at the Natural History Museum, plus I’ve done much more besides to try get my story out there.
We all need nature in our lives. Nature Heals.
© Trevor Parsons